As you all now know, Alan is in the world again.
I wish I could say I don’t care, and I didn’t expect to really care all THAT much, but when I got home from a vacation I took specifically to be far from town and not thinking about his release from jail, I realized just how much Alan Garrison HAD changed my life.
I am going to be downright straight with you guys.
I now take a strong anxiety pill to control the panic attacks. I can’t eat, I have missed work, and I am not sleeping, so I get fatigued during the day.
Last night I woke up from hell. I opened my eyes and there he was looking at me, gun pointed at me. I heard the bang, and as the pain seared through me I abruptly sat up in bed and tried to breath. I looked around me, it was a dream. I broke down in tears, unable to “snap out of it”. My chest still felt the burn, my heart kept screaming to my mind to convince me I was alive and it was a dream.
I spent hours awake after that, wishing for sleep, but afraid to close my eyes.
I loved him, and I no longer have anything to show for it, but deep emotional scars and mental torment.
He never did tell me why he chose me to abuse, or why he sent his father after me, but this saga is coming to an end. I shall keep you all posted a little better now.